THE FOLLOWING FACTS ARE UNTRUE…if i don’t have an internet connection:
1. I understand the abbreviation: LOL, ROFL, BRB, TYT, BTW, etc…and all the other computer lingo.
2. I know how to blog, design it and post graphics.
3. I know the difference of “embed code”, “html”, “rss feed”, and other technical pc terms.
4. I found my long time friends and hunted my classmates way back at day care schools.
5. I had a habit of checking emails everyday.
6. I have longer time on pc than watching tv.
7. I read at least 2 books a week.
8. I know the games: Farmville, Fishworld, Farmtown, Cafe World, etc.
9. I am fond of voting contests.
10. I am on FACEBOOK!
(those who can relate…keep on SMILING!)
Good: Your wife doesn’t talk to you.
Bad: She wants divorce.
Very bad: She is a lawyer.
Good: Your son is growing up.
Bad: He has a relationship with a whore from the neighborhood.
Very bad: Just like you.
Good: You are explaining to your daughter about birds and bees.
Bad: She interrupts you.
Very bad: And corrects you.
Good: Your son has a serious relationship.
Bad: The relationship is with a man.
Very bad: With your best friend.
Good: Your daughter has a good job.
Bad: She is a whore.
Very bad: She earns much more than you.
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You have found porn videos in his room.
Very bad: You and your wife are the main actors.
( I must admit, it’s pretty good.)
We always hear —the rules
FROM THE FEMALE SIDE.
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES
These are our rules!
Please note… these are all numbered “1”
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problemonly if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is aProblem.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria ‘s Secret girls,don’tExpect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant theother one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus didNOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.Pumpkin is also a fruit.
1. If it itches, itwill be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…Really .
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape.Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
—> GIRL’S REVENGE