Top 10 Things Only Women Understand

10. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black shoes.

9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.

8. Crying can be fun.

7. FAT CLOTHES.

6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.

5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.

4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.

2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:

1. OTHER WOMEN!

 

Good, Bad, Very Bad

Good: Your wife doesn’t talk to you.
Bad: She wants divorce.
Very bad: She is a lawyer.

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Good: Your son is growing up.
Bad: He has a relationship with a whore from the neighborhood.
Very bad: Just like you.

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Good: You are explaining to your daughter about birds and bees.
Bad: She interrupts you.
Very bad: And corrects you.

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Good: Your son has a serious relationship.
Bad: The relationship is with a man.
Very bad: With your best friend.

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Good: Your daughter has a good job.
Bad: She is a whore.
Very bad: She earns much more than you.

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Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You have found porn videos in his room.
Very bad: You and your wife are the main actors.

what if?

American stand-up comedian, George Carlin has his own hilarious description of life.

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.

I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time.

What do you get at the end of it? A Death!

What’s that, a bonus?

I think the life cycle is all backwards.

You should die first, get it out of the way.

Then you live in an old age home.

You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work.

You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school.

You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities,

you become a little baby,

you go back into the womb,

you spend your last nine months floating…

…and you finish off as an orgasm.”